Dear Eric: My husband and I have been married for more than 30 years. Recently at a family gathering his former wife made several unwarranted comments regarding my husband (who is the father of their only child). Additionally, to try and make a point, she “threw her own child under the bus,” so to speak.

It’s one thing to have friends of one’s own. That’s normal and healthy. It’s quite another thing to have friends who are actively anti-social to one’s wife. The question you’re asking your husband is “why is this OK with you?” Even if it seems inconsequential to him, he should recognize the way this whole situation made you feel.

Third benefit: therapy can help you unpack the implications of these stories your ex-wife is telling about you. Even if there’s not even a kernel of truth to them, the fact that

I never told my three children (now adults, early 30s) about the affairs to protect their relationships with their mother. Over the last five years, she has alienated my kids against me with a series of false stories.

The second potential benefit: it’s a good faith gesture that could show your kids that you’re serious about repairing your relationship. Advice | Dear Mom: I’m so sorry. This estrangement has clearly sent shockwaves through your family.